Have you ever asked yourself ‘what kind of self story you’re creating’. Maybe you haven’t given much thought or consideration to how much we can actually influence our ‘self’.
Most of us have heard the phrase ‘We are what we think‘ but how many of us believe it. A lot of who we are is as a result of our learning, often from those closest to us, parents, peers and people with influence over us, but a lot more of our internal working model is based on our self story narrative.
The thoughts we create and the beliefs we foster for ourselves are the foundation stones of who we are and how we are. We’re influenced by what we think. Our self story impacts on how we feel and if our sense of self is based on less than positive self belief, then its likely we’re going to behave more negatively and suffer as a result.
Thought=Feelings=Behaviour/Actions
Psychology can seem complex but this simple cycle is the basis for understanding how we can make the most of who we are and how to get the best out of life by imposing our self story.
‘If we do as we always did – we will get what we always got’
Managing our thoughts is much easier than most people think, and over time we can change how we think, feel and behave, just by increasing our awareness and employing some very simple strategies and therapeutic tools, we can improve the self.
What self story are you adding to your inner library?
- When you apply for a new job, do you tell yourself you can be successful, or are you full of doubt.
- When you cook a new recipe, do you expect it to turn out delicious, or a total mess.
- When you go on a date do you feel confident and relaxed, or do you feel insecure and awkward.
These are some examples of how we write ourselves off sometimes, the messages we write into our conscious mind, the self story.
What we think about ourselves ends up impacting on everything we do, the company we keep, the job we do, the way we live. So to improve our lives, we have to start writing a better self story for ourselves. We have to explore some of the negativity which is actually derived from our own self beliefs.
Think about your regular self stories, the ones you repeatedly tell your self, do they impact on you positively or negatively? Would you like to change your self story and think, feel and do better?
Changing how we think can sound difficult, but its not as challenging as you might think. Have you ever tasted a lemon? can you remember the taste? Can you bring that taste and experience to mind right now?
Chances are you can, and you controlled your thinking. If you can think of a lemon, you can also think more positively for a better future.
Changing your self story is the beginning of a new you, a brighter future. If you would like to learn more, don’t hesitate to ask.
Paul Parkin – online therapist and coach for life.
September 2018
