Hello, I’m Paul Parkin, I offer Online Counselling via this custom designed website. Below is the story of my online counselling journey.
The online counselling I provide is a ‘results focused’ online counselling service combining humanistic-existential counselling (person centred) and proven life coaching strategies and tools.
I have specific online counselling training and have more than 16 years of post UK qualification experience. I have worked for several crisis helplines, I have also been a volunteer with The Samaritans on my online counselling journey.
My life goal is to be happy and help as many people as possible to reach their ‘full potential’ and help them to find inner peace and happiness.
Online therapy and online counselling – the benefits
My Online Counselling journey
I started my online counselling journey by training with the Samaritans, the world’s best known voluntary provider of telephone and email support to people in crisis. I was on duty when the late Princess Diana was killed in that horrific accident.I took calls and emails from people who were grieving, a whole nation grieved for loved ones that they hadn’t grieved for before, I learned a lot about grief and how people can be stuck in their grief before getting the closure they need to move on with their lives.
There were many people in crisis and contemplating suicide, it was a privilege to be there for people in their darkest times, The Samaritans helped many to see that our problems in life, no matter how great, they don’t last forever. It can be very hard to see that when we are in the midst of our own crisis, I experienced that for myself too.
I continued my training on several helplines, one as a volunteer for a gay men’s project, there I learned how not fitting in or not being accepted could result in very damaging, self-harming type behaviours. I learned how to support and help people on the fringes of accepted society norms.Thankfully things are starting to get a little easier, but stigma and homophobia are still a problem for many isolated communities.
Two other paid positions relating to men’s mental and physical health, where I gained a lot of my experience in dealing with sexuality in its very broadest sense. I learned that how we identify sexually is only a small but very significant part of who we are, and how our choices and acceptance of self can be effected by external factors:
- The law
- The Press
- Peer pressure
People’s fears of sexual differences was very clear to me.
I saw how the pressures of our identity can affect us and make us feel different and sometimes isolated and also how beneficial and supportive counselling is in coming to terms with ones self.
I then worked as a drug, alcohol and gambling addiction counsellor and worked with people who used alcohol and substances to suppress and block their inner pain. This gave me great insight into the pain which can destroy many lives, not just the individual, but whole families. I worked with a group of men and women whose battle every day was to stay away from alcohol, because it destroyed everything that was ever good in their lives. Slowly most of them went on to get their lives back together, though their journey would always be a difficult and challenging one.
Some types of personality are more prone to addictions and some people have not learned how to cope emotionally with life’s challenges. I enjoy helping people learn these life skills and help them put them into practice, so they can be fully functioning in the future.
I went on to work for a young people’s helpline, children from 13 to young adults 19, this gave me an insight into the needs of children and what they need from their parents and families, it surprised me as a father myself that there were children who could not get their needs met or feel supported by their parents.
I began to learn that often we parent as we were parented, which is not always a good thing. This was my first glimpse of family counselling and Attachment and it would push me to learn more about family dynamics.
I went on to work for the NSPCC (the National Society of the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) and here I gained the most beneficial training of all. I studied ‘attachment’ the counselling and psychological term used to describe how we connect with other human beings, particularly our close friendships and intimate relationships.I learned how the first few years of our lives and the type of parenting we received is hugely influential on how well we are able to make and foster relationships as later in life as adults. This is a major aspect of my work today, specialising in relationship counselling, this understanding enables me to help others explore why they may struggle to make their close relationships work, or why we keep choosing the wrong partners.
I worked with families in crisis and every form of abuse, emotional, physical, sexual, neglect, financial and bullying. In every form of abuse the survivor is left damaged and often with issues including how to trust again, how to commit to a caring and loving relationship again. This is often the hardest and longer term work, but to help someone to connect and trust again after years of difficulties is my biggest reward as a counsellor. I am now back in the UK after working and living in Cyprus and in Thailand with ex pat communities, I am currently working in the drug and alcohol recovery field and can help people with all forms of addiction or bingeing.
Attachment is still a little known science and I get a lot from sharing my understanding with my counselling clients and helping them to make sense of why a good relationship is so difficult to achieve. It is so rewarding to help people make a relationship better, or in some cases, help them to realise that they deserve better than they have and move onto finding a more fulfilling relationship, being with them throughout this difficult journey and finally seeing them happy for the first time in their lives.
My Professional Qualifications
I qualified and was licensed to work as a counsellor in Newcastle upon Tyne, England, UK in 2002 (Diploma in Humanistic Counselling – NCFE).Whatever your problem is, whether its one big problem or a whole host of smaller, niggling problems, I will help you.
Having someone to really listen to you helps a lot. Using my 15 years experience of actually working as a counsellor, using tried and tested counselling and life coaching strategies to help you find your way again.
Online Counselling is easy to access, whether you’re in the UK or an Expat, why not try it today, I will help you to take control of your life, starting Today!