Everyone left at around 10pm leaving my ex, my children and myself in the home, i took the two youngest children to bed, my eldest son followed us up the stairs. I went to bed leaving my ex and my eldest daughter downstairs alone, all of a sudden i was awoken abruptly by the bedroom light going on, my eldest daughter was standing crying uncontrollably next to my bed.
I jumped out of bed and placed my arm around her asking her what was the matter, I thought in my mind that her boyfriend had dumped her, she was so distraught, I had never in my life seen her like that, and i never want to again.
I knew it was something serious, she then went onto to tell me she was being sexually abused by her dad, and not just once. I was stunned and in shock and I froze. She said repeatedly, “you do believe me don’t you mam, I am not making it up” I instinctively knew she was in fact being sexually abused and not acting or lying, no one could be that distraught and be acting. I had no reason not to believe her just because her and her father had arguments, she had never ever accused him of anything like this before, even in her raging tempers.
I cuddled her into me, realising she was only a child of 16, I told her I believed her and asked her to follow me downstairs so i could confront her father, she did and we spoke to him together. To my shock and horror he calmly said “don’t be silly, I am going to bed”. I knew then that he was guilty, if that had been me accused of such a hideous thing i would have flipped and felt sick, not calmly went to bed.
I got all of my children together, I use the word ‘my’ instead of ours because at that moment I felt they were my children and not his, I didn’t want them to be his after this. I phoned my mother first and told her what had happened and that my daughter had disclosed that she had been sexually abused by her dad. Then another gut wrenching blow, “oh my god” my mother said “I am pleased she has told you because it is not the first time this has happened”.
I fell to my knees and asked my mother why on earth she hadn’t told me sooner, she said that my eldest daughter had told my sister in confidence, and said she would deny it if my sister told anyone or got any authorities involved. My daughter had worried about splitting our family up. But tonight, he had crossed the line which made her confess to me, she told me she was worried he would sexually abuse her younger sister and that she had seen the signs that he was showing similar interest in her now. Why did i not see the signs?
To be continued…