What's in it for me? Black text on a yellow background

We may wonder sometimes what we get from giving to others.

There are times when doing for others can feel like a real pain, there are many sayings and quotes which explain the moral reasons for helping others, but actually I have found that in helping others – I always help myself and improve my own self esteem along the way.

A foot has no Nose

Of the many interactions I had with my mother those many years ago, one stands out with clarity.

I remember the occasion when mother sent me to the main road, about twenty yards away from the homestead, to invite a passing group of seasonal work seekers home for a meal. She instructed me to take a container along and collect dry cow dung for making a fire. I was then to prepare the meal for the group of work seekers.

The thought of making an open fire outside at midday, cooking in a large three-legged pot in that intense heat, was sufficient to upset even an angel. I did not manage to conceal my feelings from my mother and, after serving the group, she called me to the veranda where she usually sat to attend to her sewing and knitting.

Looking straight into my eyes, she daid “Tsholofelo, why did you sulk when I requested you to prepare a meal for those poor destitute people?” Despite my attempt to deny her allegation, and using the heat of the fire and the sun as an excuse for my alleged behaviour, mother, giving me a firm look, said “”Lonao ga lo na nko” – “A foot has no nose”. It means: you cannot detect what trouble may lie ahead of you.

Had I denied this group of people a meal, it may have happened that, in my travels some time in the future, I found myself at the mercy of those very individuals. As if that was not enough to shame me, mother continued: “Motho ke motho ka motho yo mongwe”. The literal meaning: “A person is a person because of another person”.

Source: “African Wisdom” by Ellen K. Kuzwayo

‘What we give out – we get back’ and that is good for raising our confidence and self esteem too.

Therapist Paul Parkin’s Self Esteem Bio

Paul Parkin has been working with self esteem as a therapist and counselor for several years. Over the years one issue more than any other seems to affect people and how they live their lives. Self esteem or a positive self esteem is essential to reaching our full potential and living a happy life.

Paul will work with you to learn how to build and improve your self esteem, this is the key to a successful and happy existence. Low self esteem counselling works very effectively.

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