Embrace Your Worth: A Journey to Self-Esteem and Self-Love.

Some people think self-esteem means feeling confident, and while that’s part of it, it’s actually about how we truly feel about ourselves deep down, our authentic sense of self. It’s not something that changes with who’s around us now, but it often goes back to how people close to us treated us when we were younger, when our personalities were developing.

Even some really successful people secretly admit they don’t feel so good about themselves. On the outside, they might seem confident, but inside, they might doubt themselves a lot. You may have heard the saying “fake it till you make it.” Well, many people use that idea to hide their low self-esteem.

Alone in a crowd.

Here are some things people with low self-esteem might say about themselves:

  • I feel like I’m not smart.
  • I haven’t achieved anything in life.
  • I’m a failure.
  • I never reached my full potential.
  • I don’t like who I am.
  • I don’t like my body.
  • I think I’m ugly.
  • I don’t have confidence.
  • I need a big change in my life.

If you catch yourself thinking, or saying these things, it could be helpful to talk to a therapist about improving your self-esteem. The good news is, no matter who you are, you can work on feeling better about yourself. Not everyone says these things out loud, but many people feel this way inside.

Even famous people, like actors, comedians, and singers, sometimes seem super confident on stage but can feel really unsure about themselves when they’re not performing. It just goes to show that getting lots of attention and praise from the public doesn’t always make you believe in yourself. Think about Princess Diana or Marilyn Monroe, they had lots of fans but still felt insecure about themselves deep down.

Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly:

“Do I like myself?”, “Do I think I’m a good human being?”, “Am I someone deserving of love?”, “Do I deserve happiness?”, “Do I really feel – both in my mind and deep in my guts that I’m an OK person?”

People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer ‘yes’ to these questions.

First, it’s important to know that you’re not alone in dealing with this issue. Many people, about 65% in the UK (and even more in the United States), face problems with self-esteem. Many of them seek help from professionals like self-esteem counselors, therapists, or life coaches. They can offer private support and effective ways to boost your self-esteem, often in a relatively short amount of time. You can access this help online, right from your home or workplace.

Secondly, remember that you are a unique and special individual. There is no one else exactly like you. Your fingerprints and DNA are completely different from everyone else’s, unless you have an identical twin. Your thoughts and how your mind works are entirely your own. Out of the six billion people in the world, you are one of a kind. So, since nature has made you incredibly unique, it’s important to recognise that you are important too. You have just as much right as anyone else to live on this planet and to be happy.

In simple terms, self-esteem is like how you see yourself compared to others, like friends or people you work with. When you have low self-esteem, it means you often feel like you’re not as good as other people. This feeling can often be linked to things that happened when you were a child, like if you were criticized a lot, felt unloved, thought you looked unattractive, felt too big or too small, or if you were made fun of or treated badly. Low self-esteem can also show up when you’re feeling really down or depressed.

Feeling that you’re not good enough – even if you are, decreased confidence, putting yourself down all the time, being too scared to try new things, unsure of your good qualities, making no effort because you expect to mess things up, being timid, not asserting yourself, losing your temper, picking fights, worrying about getting even, blaming others for your problems, constantly bickering about petty issues.

Counseling and short-term cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) can be really helpful if you struggle with low self-esteem. It’s like cleaning out the clutter in your mind and slowly letting go of your doubts. When your self-esteem gets better, you start feeling more positive about yourself and recognising your strengths. This can lead to better relationships and a happier life.

The good news is, you can do this with the help of an online counselor. If you want to boost your self-esteem, this kind of therapy really does work, and its benefits can last a lifetime. Investing in yourself now is like investing in a brighter future – and you definitely deserve it!

Self-esteem counseling is a form of therapy designed to help individuals improve their self-esteem and self-worth. During self-esteem counseling, a trained therapist or counselor works with the individual to address and overcome issues related to low self-esteem.

The goals of self-esteem counseling typically include:

Identifying Negative Beliefs: The counselor helps the individual identify negative thought patterns and beliefs about themselves that contribute to low self-esteem. These beliefs might be rooted in past experiences, childhood upbringing, or societal influences.

Building Self-Awareness: Through introspection and self-reflection, individuals gain a deeper understanding of their self-esteem issues and how they impact their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Challenging Negative Thoughts: The counselor assists in challenging and reframing negative self-talk and beliefs. This process involves replacing self-criticism with more realistic and positive self-perceptions.

Developing Coping Strategies: Individuals learn strategies to cope with self-esteem challenges, such as assertiveness training, stress management, and emotional regulation techniques.

Setting Realistic Goals: Counselors help clients set achievable goals and work towards building self-esteem gradually over time.

Improving Self-Image: Strategies may include techniques to enhance self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love. This can involve focusing on personal strengths and accomplishments.

Enhancing Interpersonal Skills: Building better relationships with others is often a key component of self-esteem counseling. Improved communication and social skills can contribute to a more positive self-image.

Exploring Past Experiences: In some cases, self-esteem issues may be rooted in past traumas or experiences. Counselors may help individuals process and heal from these experiences.

Self-esteem counseling can be conducted in individual or group settings, and it can also be facilitated through online therapy platforms. The specific approach and techniques used in self-esteem counseling may vary depending on the therapist’s training and the client’s unique needs. Ultimately, the goal is to help individuals develop a healthier and more positive sense of self, leading to greater emotional well-being and improved quality of life.

I’m Paul Parkin – A therapist and life coach. This is why you should work with me:

Paul Parkin Online CounsellorI have worked in the field of self-esteem for years. This issue more than any other seems to affect people and how they live their lives. A positive self-esteem is essential to reaching our full potential and living a happy life. I will work with you to learn how to improve your self-esteem, this is the key to a successful and happy existence.

What some of my recent clients have said about our work together.

‘After researching and contacting a couple of different therapists, I decided to go with Paul after discussing my requirements (primarily work on a severe phobia, and some self-esteem, anxiety and depression issues) as he came across as friendly, empathetic and knowledgeable.

His approach blended CBT and NLP techniques with some talking therapy, and he was kind and understanding throughout the whole process, always explaining why he was introducing certain actions and how they would help, and always reassuring me and reminding me how much progress I was making, which was invaluable in those moments when I was down and couldn’t see it myself.

I felt validated, listened to, and supported from Paul, and in the 6 months he worked with me, am in a much better place mentally- plus I now have mental tools and techniques on which I can fall back as I need them.‘

Zoe. UK.
December 2020.

‘Friends and family have commented on how much happier and more positive I am, and the little things don’t worry me as much and I know that I can handle future big things with more confidence. I didn’t know before that I had low self-esteem which contributed to some of my issues but once you are aware of something you can change it for the better. I still have a way to go before I really feel I will have reached where I want to be but I am further to the end than the beginning, and once I feel I am finished I know I can always come back to Paul should I need help in the future. I finally feel like I am getting “me” back and feel like I have a friend helping me who won’t judge or say things because he thinks he should, Paul is always honest in the nicest way he can be.

I would say to anyone considering, just try a few sessions and see how you get on, it could literally change your life like it has for me so it’s got to be worth a try!’

Michaela. UK.
December 2011.

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