Even jam and bread can trigger our grieving for a loved one.

Even jam and bread can trigger our grieving for a loved one.

If like me you’re grieving right now and you’re a member of a Facebook nostalgia groups, often from where we grew up, you know the type, they post images and memories from our childhood haunts, often a lot of laughs and often real silly stuff too.

Well, a photo of jam and bread appeared a couple of days ago on my newsfeed, asking yes or no? As to whether you like it, or not. A simple and innocuous question at first glance, from me ‘a big yes’.

My mam and I used to love tucking into our jam and bread sarnies, and its something which, when I eat even today, my mind is awash with childhood memories and recently, memories of my mam, she passed away a couple of years ago, my grieving journey is still very much in its infancy.

Back to the jam and bread, I thought that would be the end of it, but no, notifications came flooding in, my phone sounded like an episode of name that tune with all the bleeping. That innocuous image and post had triggered so many different reactions, many of them about grief, grieving, bereavement and loss.

It’s actually affected me for the past couple of days now, obviously two years is a short time in the grieving process, and there are days when its much more difficult than other days. The jam and bread post and image might have been a song, a memory or something else I enjoyed with my mother, so I got to thinking of how powerful social media and nostalgia is in terms of triggering feelings.

Grieving is never very far from our minds.

Grieving is never very far from our minds.

Some triggers can be happy, some sad, when we’re grieving anyway, more than likely its going to be upsetting, not always a bad thing, its another way that technology is helping us to grieve more.

It’s difficult to get away from articles and blog posts these days, just like these notification alerts, there’s always something to take our minds to another place or time.

The last time I wrote a blog article about grieving this time someone else’s, the experience stayed with me for several days. So can we manage how we’re affected by the sometimes innocuous triggers we face day to day, or are we at the mercy of our minds and external stimuli?

If you’re feeling and affected by triggers, then you’re dealing with it, and if you’re dealing with it, then it’s going to get easier, but maybe never easy. Grief takes a long time not to wipe us out. I try my best to think of the good times, like the jam and bread.

Thank you to Darren for the facebook post and image of jam and bread which led to the writing and sharing of this post.

Here’s another article I wrote about grieving I hope it helps.

You may also choose to contact other specialised grieving support services Cruse Bereavement

Paul Parkin – online counselling
April 2018