This letter I pen to you today is the result of the many years of torment that I have endured, I was bullied and this is part of my attempt to get some closure.
To the bully,
During the last ten years I have suffered from severe depression. This depression did not only appear in the last ten years, I have lived with depression for my whole life after the age of nine. I’m not sure if you remember but at the age of nine (same age as you by the way) my family and I moved to …… to be next door to my Nana. My Nana was the loveliest grandmother anyone could wish for, you probably even remember my Nana as the times you would come round you will have met her. She would have given you the sugar from her tea if you asked her for it.
Anyway back to the point. When I moved to …… I was told I had to attend ……. Primary School. This was the school you attended. As I remember you were the leader of a group of lads namely Alex ……., Craig ……. Graham ……. and Alan …….. These are people I didn’t get a chance to be friends with because you wouldn’t let your gang anywhere near me or me anywhere near your gang.
That in itself I think as a child is quite a difficult thing to understand and accept but I’m sure I would have managed but YOU didn’t just stop at that you made it your duty to whenever you got the chance to make my life miserable by teasing and bringing me down at every turn and even latterly when the chance arose you used mind and influence to see to it that other lads physically beat me and chase me home. Now I’m not sure that you were the main culprit but I remember you as one of the culprits and now I am telling you what you are partly responsible for.
Since the time I left ……. Primary School I had to pretend to be someone I was not, someone I now wish I had not been either. That person was partially liked, but only for the real person within. That real person within was masked and muted by the other person that had to pull on the brave face and pretend to be something I have never liked or even wanted to be like. To be like this now I feel one of the most pitiful human beings ever.
I have tried to carry on with my life as normally as possible. This has not been possible due to my lack of self confidence, my guilt and self respect.
I now thank you kindly for taking on my feelings, hurt and pain as I pass them on to you for you to do with as you wish.
Yours without prejudice
Stevie – Feb 2014
P.S. Alan ……. now suffers with severe depression, Alex ……. wouldn’t cross the road to piss on you if you were on fire (his words by the way) and Graham and Craig I do not know how they feel about you.