Feeling stuck in a rut usually comes about because of complacency or a loss of interest in life, it can be as a result of everything feeling old hat and boring, or it can be as a result of losing our way in life.
Sometimes, especially when we are not free to do what we want, maybe we are not independent or we have a family or partner to consider, these circumstances can make it difficult to meet our own needs.
Many of my online counselling clients chat to me about not meeting their own needs and feel that it is selfish to try to meet their own need, or that they are not worthy of happiness. I believe strongly that the happy people in this world are the ones who set about meeting their own needs, and I encourage my friends and clients to do just that, you see, if we are happy, we give more to others, if we are unhappy we don’t function to our full capacity, so its in everyone’s interests to meet our own needs first, that way we are able to give better and for longer.
Accepting that our life is not fulfilling or that we feel stuck in a rut is not easy, we often feel guilty for feeling like this and often push it to the back of our minds, this only serves to bury our heads and the feeling inevitably returns, usually stronger and harder to cope with.
So, accept that life isn’t quite how you need it to be and look at how to make it better, your energy is better used on changing things rather than pushing it away.
Here are some ways to help you out of your rut:
- Think about what it is about your life that is dragging you down and look at ways to make even small changes, they often have a big impact.
- Look at your friendships and relationships, do they add to your life or are they a drain on your energy? You can choose who you let into your life, so give this some thought.
- Are you working, if you are, are you happy or fulfilled in your job. If you are not, would working help you feel better about yourself, even a voluntary job can boost your self esteem and self worth and many pay expenses.
- Are there specific ongoing problems or worries which drain your energy constantly, if so, try to look at solving the problems rather than living with them, it’s takes much less energy in the long term. If you need help ask someone capable to help you.
- If the life you are living feels as though there is no way out of it, talk to a professional, they will have the resources and contacts to help you make informed choices and decisions about your future. Sharing your problems and worries always helps.
If you try the above and still feel stuck, then maybe it’s time to get some help, an online counsellor with lots of experience of helping many people make a better life could the the best investment in you that you will ever make.
It might help to have a look at some of the posts on my website, it has many useful articles on all aspects of living the best life you can.
My best wishes Paul Parkin – online counsellor and life coach.