Plodding on and trying to put a brave face on things can for a time keep desperation at bay, usual a series of negative feelings will test even the strongest resolve and act like a sledge-hammer to almost wipe us out.
lifting ourselves up after such a battering can be a long and depressive haul. for many of us the effort to get up again is just too much, many of us stay where we are, feeling that we can’t go any lower, this is usually when hope has disappeared and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
How long we can cope with these lows is partly about our resolve and resilience, partly about if there is anyone we can look too for support, but for many of us, we are alone, or at least we may feel alone.
I guess how alone we feel may be more to do with our early development and to what extent our needs were met, than whether there are people we could ask for help, how easy is it to ask for help, even for those well-adjusted to reaching out for assistance. Do we all on the whole find it difficult to say we need help?
Many of us find it harder to ask those closest to us for help than we do asking a stranger for help, why is that? Could it be that we don’t want to be seen as needy or that we can’t manage our own existence? It could be a combination of both, or just never getting into the habit of reaching out.
When we don’t connect with people well from an early age, it can be difficult to depend on anyone but ourselves, this can make us vulnerable and more likely to find ourselves in desperate and long-term low moods or worse.
Depression can hit suddenly after a long period of being down and can be difficult to claw our way out of it, for some they may feel there is no way out of the black hole. This is a dangerous time, a time when a crisis either has a perceived no way out, this is a time when some people plan an ending, tired of the struggle and lack of hope, this can be their darkest hour.
My two years as a Samaritan volunteer gave me a privileged insight into why people attempt and plan to complete suicide. The common theme was always an absence of hope, with that gone most of us will struggle. It can be difficult when our mental health is fragile to see hope, but others often can, which is why we must try to reach out, even when we feel sure there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
We must at the very least instill hope.
If you have lost all hope – online counseling could help.
Sincerest wishes – Paul