The people who have great and happy relationships are generally those who are on the same wavelength as their partner, but this usually doesn’t just happen. Its usually not there in the beginning, and it takes time, patience and understanding, but the people in happy and successful relationships make it happen that way.
Here I want to share with you two tried and tested ways to make your relationship stronger and happier. They will work just as well whether you are in a new relationship where the passion and excitement of being together is still new, or if you have been together a long time and maybe things feel a little stale.
If you are in a new relationship, then you have a great opportunity to start making it work in a way which will help you both to meet and satisfy each others needs, which in the long term makes for a fulfilling and happy relationship.
My first relationship tip is aimed at not letting the little things grow into the big issues which many relationships buckle under, prevention is always better than cure as far as relationships go.
Depending on whether you are newly partnered, or have been together for many years, decide on a time when you can sit down together, no TV, no distractions, just both of you in turn listening to the other. The key here is the ‘listening’, ask each other how things are in your relationship. You could use the “Sweet, Sour and Takeaway model” Ask each other what is sweet, what is sour and what you value and would takeaway.
Be honest and as tactful as you can be, use phrases like, ‘when you do/say this or that, it makes me feel…
Own the feeling and try to explain how his/her actions affect you and what would be a better way for you. It should never be about blame, none of us know what affect our words or actions will have on someone else, because we are all different. The aim is to help your partner understand your needs and what is sour in your relationship.
It might be that once a month talks would be a good place to start for established relationships, whilst new relationships may benefit from fortnightly or weekly chats. Whatever the frequency, remember the what is `sweet’ what is ‘sour and finish with what you really value and will ‘takeaway’
If you find that you need more chats, then have them more frequently, likewise, if you find that everything is sw.t and you are struggling to find anything sour, then , could reduce the check ins, unless you like hearing how good it is.
Thats the first and most useful relationship tip I know, make this a part of your relationship and I guarantee things will be better and keep your relationship healthy.
lets move onto the second tip.
Remember how it was before you were settled in your relationship, the excitement you both felt when you were going to be spending time together, whatever it was you were doing. Where did that go? If you are asking your self that, then chances are some of the spark may have burned out of your relationship. Don’t worry, its common for lots of reasons, not least when couples become parents, but it doesn’t have to be that way.