A man put up cosmeticIf you are the partner, mother, father, brother, sister or friend of a man or boy who Cross-Dresses, and have just made the discovery, or been told, you are probably going out of your mind with worry and you probably have many questions in your head, why wouldn’t you.

This page and my service is here to help you deal with some of those questions, dispel some of the myths about  boys and men who Cross-Dress and to hopefully help reduce some of the fears you will have right now.

I have worked with many Cross-Dressers, their partners and their families, I have always, without exception found that once partners and families understand the issue more, then the fears and worries are always reduced and things can feel a lot better.

Lets start with how you may be feeling after being told or discovering that the boy or man you thought you knew is wearing women’s clothes or Cross-Dressing:

Shocked and disgusted that he is doing this?

Shocked and disgusted wmanHearing or discovering that a boy or man close to you is wearing women’s clothes is bound to come as a shock, this subject is shrouded in secrecy, but its actually very common. Most boys and men who Cross-Dress are not gay, bisexual, perverted or strange, they simply have an obsession or need to dress as a female, this is more than likely as much a shock to them as it is to you and they have very little control over their desire, or need to do it.

They don’t choose it and many boys and men will have tried everything not to do it. They have and probably still do have issues about it themselves. They are not crazy and they don’t have a mental illness just because they Cross-Dress, but it may be causing them, as well as you, unbearable stress, so you are all probably suffering.

Feeling that you don’t know him at all?

Woman fearIt is usual for people to think that because this seems unusual behaviour, that everything about him is a lie, it’s not all a lie. You have to understand that this person is the same person you love, he just has some behaviour that feels scary and unreal right now.

Because of how this subject is perceived by many, it can be very difficult to find the courage to share it with someone, so try not to feel that everything is different, he is still the person you love and he needs your support and help more than ever.

Scared he is not normal or has an illness?

WomanScaredYou are bound to be scared and worried, that is completely normal. Cross-Dressing very common, we just don’t hear about it until it’s close to us. It probably due to high levels of the female hormone Estrogen, but research is inconclusive, some experts believe that boys and men who Cross-Dress may have been conditioned, surrounded by females or treat like a girl, personally I feel that this is a genetic issue. It is not an illness or anything that requires medical treatment.

Worried he is gay?

Two gay men share tender moment

This is a very common worry, but most Cross-Dressers are heterosexual (straight) and have no interest in having sex with other men, or for that matter other women. Wearing the clothes is something that helps them connect with their feminine side (remember the Estrogen hormone) Cross-Dressing is not a sexual thing for most men.

Worried he doesn’t love you or fancy you?

hugging-man-and-woman-300x215He is with you and we will do all we can to make your relationship strong enough to deal with this. For most Cross-Dressers, there is no sexual pleasure in dressing. You are going to have hundreds of fears and thoughts, most of which will not be valid, you are almost certainly in shock as you are reading this and it will take a little time to get the answers and to understand exactly what is happening.

You can talk to me alone or together and I will help you answer the questions, maybe I can ask them on your behalf, I can certainly share the questions which women usually have on this subject.

So what should you do now that you know his secret?

0808_women-talking-estate-planning_400x400Be very careful and choose who you talk to about this, after all, this is personal and it is private, it should remain that way, some peoples fear can cause even bigger problems. So talk to someone confidentially, I would be happy to help you, you can stay anonymous and you can chat to me online. If you don’t want to chat to me, talk to someone you can trust completely, for his sake and yours.

It would be better if you can get some understanding before talking to him about it, give yourself some time to take it all in, share and discuss your worries and get help with how to go about talking to him. Above all remember he needs your support and love. This does not mean anything is wrong with your relationship or that it can’t be ok.

Should I ask him to stop?

Happy Family Hugging Each OtherYou could ask him to stop, but he probably won’t be able to, at least not in the long term. He has probably tried to stop himself, he is probably wracked with guilt and pain and hurt, just like you are. The only way to deal with this is to talk when the time is right and to explore how you can both feel ok about it. Talk to me and I will help you with what usually works best and what has worked for other couples and families.

If you would like to chat with me in total confidence, please Email, chat or talk to me. and we will work through this together.

If you would like to learn more about men who cross dress you can read more here

Someone you love and care for may benefit from this information. It doesn’t take much to help someone in need, spread the word by using the share button below.

Professional Online Counsellor and Online Life Coach Paul Parkin

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