Facilitated topic based discussion/support, for the Wives of Men who Cross Dress

Are you married, or the partner of a man who likes to wear female clothing, sometimes referred to as cross dressing men?

Many women have contacted me stating ‘My husband wears my clothes’. You may find this behaviour off putting, confusing, distressing, or not understand what it means about your man, or what it means for your relationship.

I can explain everything to you, how to support your partner, how to question and how to understand what’s happening and more importantly why.

Most people find it very useful to speak to a professional who understands why men cross dress, I can help you with setting boundaries and answer all of your questions, so that your relationship and you feel more comfortable .

You, your feelings and needs are important too, and you may need to be supported, it can feel very isolating to be the partner of a man who is a cross dresser because of the isolation and the fear of other people knowing your private business.

If after speaking with me and feeling more equipped with the facts, you may benefit greatly from speaking with other wives, girlfriends and lovers, of men who cross dress.

You may be interested in my support group for women just like you.

Middle-aged couple are discussing about the husband cross-dressing.

In this facilitated topic-based support group, you can expect a warm and inclusive atmosphere, where women like yourself can come together to discuss some of the challenges of cross dressing.

As an experienced group facilitator, I will ensure that conversations are respectful and productive, creating a space where you can feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and worries.

Each facilitated session will focus on a meaningful topic. There are a variety of topics related to crossdressing, feel free to share any topic’s you’d like to explore in the future.

You’ll have the opportunity to connect with others who understand your experiences, providing a sense of belonging and camaraderie.

I will offer guidance and resources, helping you navigate any questions or uncertainties you may have. Whether you’re just starting your journey, or have been on it for a while.

This group is here to provide support, encouragement, and valuable insights into partner cross dressing and the impact on you and your relationship.

Yes, you can be 100% confident that your identity will remain completely anonymous on the secure chat platform.

I take your privacy extremely seriously, and I go the extra mile to ensure your safety and security. You’ll log-in with a screen name, real or fictional, you decide.

Your comfort and peace of mind are my top priorities, so you won’t be required to share any information you’re not comfortable with. Rest assured, your participation in this group session will be entirely anonymous.

This chat room boasts a high level of security, thanks to its reliance on dyte.io, a reputable platform widely adopted by prominent companies across various sectors.

Access to the meeting room is exclusive to individuals who receive an invitation link from myself. You’re only required to provide a scree name, and features like video and private chat have been intentionally disabled by myself. These precautions safeguard your identity and location, allowing you to engage in the group discussion with complete peace of mind.

Absolutely fine, you’re welcome to join and participate without speaking. In this support group, I respect and accommodate individual comfort levels. You can choose to simply listen, observe, and read/listen to the conversations without actively engaging in discussions, if that’s what you prefer.

Your presence is valued, and you can participate in a way which feels right for you, whether it’s by actively contributing, or quietly benefiting from the shared experiences and insights of the group.

Absolutely, this will be a safe and welcoming space for you. My primary goal is to create an environment where you will feel comfortable, respected, and supported. I am committed to fostering inclusivity, understanding, and empathy among all participants.

It’s hoped that all group members will offer encouragement, share experiences, and offer support within the group, when they feel comfortable to do so.

Your well-being and safety are of utmost importance to me, and I have guidelines in place to ensure that everyone can participate in a respectful and considerate manner.

You can trust that this will be a secure and affirming space for you to engage and connect with others.

I appreciate your interest in joining the group discussion, and while I would value your participation, I do have a policy that requires individuals to have had one-to-one sessions with me before joining the group.

This policy helps ensure that everyone in the group has a shared foundation and understanding of the topics we discuss. I encourage you to consider scheduling a one-to-one session with me so that you can fully benefit from and contribute to the group discussions in the future. Thank you for your understanding.

The facilitated topic-based group support for crossdressers’ wives, loved one’s and girlfriends operates as a collaborative and guided environment where women come together to share their unique experiences, provide mutual assistance, and gain valuable insights into their shared journey. Here’s how it typically works:

Structured Discussions: The group sessions are structured around a specific topic or theme, related to crossdressing and the challenges for wive’s and the relationship.

As the facilitator, I may introduce a topic or encourage participants to suggest discussion points.

Sharing and Listening: Participants are encouraged to openly share their thoughts, experiences, challenges, and successes related to being a partner of a crossdresser, when they feel comfortable. Active listening is essential, everyone will have the opportunity to express their perspectives.

Facilitator Guidance: I will facilitate and moderate the discussion to ensure a respectful and supportive atmosphere. I may offer guidance, ask questions to stimulate conversation, and provide additional information or resources specific to the topic being discussed.

Peer Support: Group members provide support to one another by offering encouragement and perspective, based on their own experiences as a partner of crossdresser.

This peer-to-peer support can be incredibly beneficial and break down the sense of isolation and the feeling that you’re the only woman in the world whose men are cross dressing.

Anonymity and Privacy: in line with the group’s policy around anonymity and safety, participants will remain anonymous, using a screen name only, or a pseudonym, if desired.

Regular Meetings: Facilitated, group, topic-based support for crossdressers’ wive’s, will consist of regular meetings, possibly every Two weeks, or as requested.

Resource Sharing: Crossdresser‘s wives, partners and girlfriends may find it useful to share advice and resources, such as a book they may have found useful.

Generally, the facilitated group support for crossdressers’ wives, partners and girlfriends offers a space where women with a shared experiences can connect, learn, and grow together in a safe and supportive environment, specifically designed to address the unique challenges and interests of crossdressing within a relationship, in a safe and secure environment.

If you’d like to participate, or suggest a topic for future discussion, please feel free to contact me.

These rules have been discussed and agreed during consultation and discussion, with the sole purpose of creating a safe welcoming space for wives, loved one’s and girlfriends of men who cross dress.

*Your identity and the identity of other participants must remain private/confidential at all times.

*There should be no sharing of full names or any other identifying contact details, or identifying information.

*No side conversations/private chat, this feature along with the video option has been disabled for everyone’s privacy.

*Participants should be respectful and supportive to other group participants, remember, everyone is at a different stage of their personal journey.

*Participants are requested to give everyone within the group, the opportunity to speak and feel heard.

  • The benefits of transparency and honesty.
  • Cross dressing and my relationship.
  • How do we see attitudes changing in relation to cross dressing in the coming decade.
  • Cross Dressing risks.
  • Cross Dressing. Relationships and Friendships.
  • My Boundaries and what I’m ok with.
  • What I’m definitely not ok with.
  • How to work through my fears and prejudices.
  • Types of Dressing.
  • Online Resources: Share websites, forums, and YouTube channels that offer support, tutorials, and inspiration.
  • Mental Health and Well-being: Discuss the emotional aspects of crossdressing, including acceptance, coping with stigma, any negative beliefs and building confidence.
  • Coming Out: Share experiences and thoughts on whether to share with family or friends.
  • Challenges and Discrimination: Address the challenges and discrimination faced by crossdressers, and partners of cross dressers and discuss strategies for dealing with them.
  • Relationships and Dating: Talk about how crossdressing can impact relationships, including communication and intimacy.
  • General Discussion: Create an open space for women to share their experiences, questions, and stories related to crossdressing within their relationship.
  • Do’s and Don’ts.
  • Role Models and Inspirations: Discuss prominent crossdressers, historical figures, or fictional characters who inspire, or negatively impact on your thinking in relation to cross dressing.
  • Legal Rights and Protection.
  • Supporting Each Other: Discuss how to be supportive allies to fellow partners of cross dresser’s, both within the group and in the broader community.
  • Personal Growth and Empowerment: Share stories of personal growth as a result of greater transparency and empowerment within your relationship, and how it has positively impacted your life and relationship.
  • How to deal with any change in attraction or desirability.
  • Discuss risky behaviours and is it worth the possible consequences.
  • Balancing re dressing, in relationships and in life more generally.
  • How to deal with the generalised misconceptions of cross dressing by people in general.
  • How to improve our value system/self esteem in relation to the impact of a partner who dresses.
  • Discuss safer environments. where it’s easier to dress.

The fee is £25, and the session will be between one hour and up to a maximum of 90 minutes.

A young couple are discussing about the husband's cross-dressing.

Why I provide this service:

Since creating my online counselling website in 2007, I’ve had a steady stream of clients from every corner of the world, who have sought support with their partners, husbands or boyfriends’ cross dressing men and their behaviour.

At times these individuals have felt afraid and confused at finding out that they are in relationships with cross dressing men.

They often struggled to understand cross dressing, as there’s a lot of misinformation online. People often feel isolated and uncomfortable with an issue which can be distressing. This can have a huge impact on their relationships with themselves and with their loved ones.

Although these individuals come from different countries and continents, the issues they face in relation to the cross dressing issue, are similar, wherever they are from.

I decided to create this therapeutic, facilitated group support option, for wive’s of men who cross dress, at the request of several of my one-to-one clients, they feel they would benefit from having a safe, secure place, where they can speak with other women, without compromising their identity.

There are some general concerns for most women whose men are cross dressers, I aim to explore these topics within the safe confines of a secure chat platform, entry will only be enabled by myself, making it secure and safe. You can choose any name to sign in with and your identity will only be known to me.

If you’re interested, then maybe you too, would benefit from a facilitated, supportive environment to share and explore your concerns with other women who are going through similar challenges and emotions to you.

If you’d like further information about why men cross dress, you can read more below. read more.

What some of my clients have said about the facilitated group.

‘The Peer Support Group for Partners of Dressers

During the holiday season, our group was not convening as usual.

It was during this normally hectic and sometimes triggering time of the year that I realized acutely, how I had come to depend on the support in our group to carry me through any type of turbulence that comes along.

All of a sudden, I was on holiday travel with in-laws and missing the ability to let some stuff out. Trying not to react to sometimes triggering situations, well, I relied on some things I had learned while listening to others in group, and just kind of was able to relax more readily and be more flexible all around. As a result, the holiday was just that and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

But I did look forward to our next group, like kind of a special treat. a meeting of the minds!

I feel much more connected to others as a result of talking through common issues that come up along all of our journeys.

Because our stories often include retaining confidences for our loved ones, we can sometimes feel a bit isolated. The group has become a safe place for me to tell stories, relate difficult times, or fun things that happen and to contemplate in a very safe space.

For me it has become as well, a place to celebrate insights and breakthroughs in the intimacy and peace of our loving relationships.

The stories are woven through a process of just allowing them to be told.

The letting it out like an exhale and putting it on some kind of table to recognize, process and allow to keep on going, this process has helped me hit the refresh button in my mind many times.

We are all vessels of creative storms, capable of morphing into all kinds of shapes here on earth.

Witnessing and taking others’ stories into my fold in confidence, it has a responsibility to it, we respect each other with this trust.

To hear others support us in our stories and whatever is thrown our way, it is uplifting.

Many times, after our group, I feel kind of excited in a way, it’s because there is such a balm from communing with others over such tender and personal matters.

Through careful guidance, with Paul as our mediator and guide, the difficult is diminished and we grow in compassion and strength.

We are all souls on life’s highway, being strewn to earth with a smattering of old thoughts and making our new thoughts in real time.

We are woven in and out of family structures and a myriad of professions. We hold different titles.

We may or may not have children, or grandchildren. We all grapple with ourselves, as well as our ability to relate to others.

Listening and learning from our support group has cultivated inside of me a growing sense of peace and also built a self-confidence, rooted in learning to accept others truly for what they are.

But maybe most of all, the group has helped me accept myself’

Kate.
January 2025.

‘It is exactly 12 months since I accidentally discovered that my husband likes to express his gender by at times wearing clothing usually considered female or feminine.

My immediate thoughts were how hadn’t I guessed, and on immediate reflection over the coming days I wasn’t surprised, as I looked back the signs were there. It took me one week to settle my own reaction and set a new direction, a new path in our relationship by accepting this aspect of him.

Although I knew there was still a lot for me to understand, one week from his disclosure we went shopping together. We looked for nice things for him, clothing, makeup, perfumes and jewellery.

However, I quickly realised that I was now sharing this secret with him, his secret and it wasn’t mine to share or tell. I felt somewhat isolated and just wanted to check I was doing the right thing, supporting him the best way possible.

Several weeks later, in my own search to feel less isolated and have someone to talk to, who had the skills to help me navigate my new world order I found Paul.

Paul has been a constant in our lives since that point, helping to guide us as a couple. For clarity I am an accepting wife, my husband dresses as he pleases around our house, we have attended social occasions face to face with other men who dress in female clothing and, he has dressed, and we have been out to nice restaurants as a couple and more recently with some close friends.

Did I think all that was possible 12 months ago, certainly not, I had a lot of boundaries, even then, I described myself as unconditionally accepting.

When Paul first suggested me attending an online, anonymous group for other women in my situation, I was unsure how it might benefit me being honest.

However, I was keen to hear the views of other women in my situation firsthand so decided I would try it. Meeting other women, whose identity is protected and just hearing them, initially made it hard for me to get to grips with the sessions.

Being honest I found it frustrating not being able to see the body language of people. Additionally, although everyone in the group described them self as accepting of their husbands need to express them self by wearing female clothing it was quickly apparent to me that we all had a range of approaches, boundaries and thoughts.

After two sessions I was considering leaving, I wasn’t sure what I would gain from the group and really felt I didn’t have enough in common with the other women.

However, I decided to stick with it for a while longer, good decision.

As the membership of the group solidified, we found our groove and over the past months I find myself looking forward to sharing my or our progress as a couple with the other women.

We may all be in different places, both emotionally and figuratively, but we have a common experience which is difficult to share with our wider family or friends.

I have changed from thinking, that I really didn’t need this group for wives of men who dress, to knowing it is one place I can be honest, say what is on my mind (even if it is a little out there or unpalatable) and I have the ears of other women who understand some of my experience.

We have laughed, cried, been silent, we have metaphorically provided hugs when it’s needed and most importantly, we have shared experiences that have changed our own approaches, views and behaviours.

I believe it has increased my level of acceptance and provided me with a safe space, I have somewhere to go where I will be supported by other people who have a shared experience with me, when I wobble, feel unsure or just wonder WTAF!

I have gone from holding the view that I did not really need to be a part of this group, that I wasn’t in need of it, to looking forward to sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences and importantly hearing about those of the women I have come to know.

If you think you don’t need to be part of this lady’s group, if your first instinct is that you are ‘sorted’ and wouldn’t benefit please think again.

Living with and unconditionally loving a man who expresses himself in this very individual way will not always be plain sailing, you will have secretive thoughts you don’t want to share with him immediately and there will be times of fear I suspect, for your relationship, yourself and perhaps the future.

Equally if you are feeling that you have totally got this, consider that by sharing your experiences you might help shape and change the lives of other women who are struggling more than you, those who want to move forward but can’t find that path, you could be the person who lights that path up for them and holds their hand as they wander down it.

What has the past 12 months taught me? I am emotionally stronger than I thought, and my beliefs and values are more solid than I ever knew. Above all there is power when we share our human experience, power to change the course of someone’s life and impact them in positive ways you had no idea was possible. Join us, find out for yourself.’

S.
January 2025.

‘Women’s Group Magic

I was pretty nervous before the first Women’s group hosted by Paul.

As usual, I acted all cool beforehand, and had a bit of jitters as I checked in at the beginning of the call.

It was one of those times where I started pretty manner of fact, but along the way started to feel emotional.

I thought I had it all together! I thought….

So that is what I find especially exciting about this safe new environment to release words. Words can be like a balm to the soul.

Hearing other’s stories is downright empowering.

There was quite a lot of sharing of what is working. We all had our heartaches to report, but these paled in comparison to the words of love. Words of deep yearning to truly see another as themselves, unfettered by even your need to have them be who you think they are.

The deeper questions of how to truly love your partner quickly took over, and shifted the conversation.

How do we learn how to respect our own wishes, but allow infinite respect for our partner’s wishes themselves.

How to respect your partner and their choices as a demonstration of their sovereignty as a distinct and unique soul in the world.

As a community with shared experiences, I see this as direct evidence that it is just the community, the letting go of words and thoughts that may be challenging, letting go of your story, and hearing of others with similar stories which made them at times feel out of control of their own narrative.

At the end, I was a bit wound up, maybe because it was intense; but along with this, I was able to more clearly identify the source of this angst, in my own body.

In my own experience. This for me was super empowering, because through communing with others I felt a surge of love and peace, and I also felt not so scared anymore. It’s not you!

There is a lot of love in the air! We all want everyone to live as they most deeply wish! Your partner loves you deeply!

I look forward to the next meeting. I can see how this can become a source of real peace, real settling inside because there is power in community.

It is easier to flip guilt, shame, or grief into freedom, pride and joy when you feel literally uplifted by others who see and hear you.

Air is cleared and I feel more open to my mind being filled with ideas for the infinite possibilities life offers you.’

K. USA.
May 2024.

‘I’m not sure how helpful my comments were to other wive’s of men who cross dress, as their discovery journey seems a lot newer than my experience.

I have known about my husbands cross dressing for many years, and the painful feelings I had back then, have dissipated over the years.

It was good to feel that I’m not alone.

I struggled with the technology, I couldn’t use the chat feature, however speaking with the other ladies was easy.

What came across strongly was it is a shared experience, a safe place to express feelings, when for years, we hadn’t voiced them.

I try to be supportive to my husband, so do not always tell him what I don’t like, or what upsets me, for fear of upsetting him as, it’s already tough for him to deal with.

This support group for the wives of men who cross dress is timely.’

G. UK.
May 2024.

‘Paul’s discussion group for wives of men who crossdress was inspirational.

I met with women who were in the same situation as me, and for the first time I was able to share and express my feelings and views in a safe and reassuring environment.

To realise I wasn’t alone in this meant so much to me.

Thank you Paul.’

S. UK.
May 2024.

‘Earlier this year, I realised my husband of more than 30 years liked to cross dress when I came across his ‘stash’.

Since this we have been doing some relationship counselling and our counsellor suggested I talk to Paul Parkin which was very helpful.

I have also participated in the group discussions for the wives of men who cross dress, which Paul facilitates anonymously online.

It’s so helpful to speak to other women who understand and all have different perspectives, but all who completely understand what you’re going through.

To be able to talk so freely in a supportive anonymous group, with Paul providing input when required, is so refreshing and helpful.’

Erica. UK.
May 2024.

‘Paul’s discussion group for wives of men who crossdress was inspirational.

I met with women who were in the same situation as me, and for the first time I was able to share and express my feelings and views in a safe and reassuring environment.

To realise I wasn’t alone in this meant so much to me.

Thank you Paul.’

S. UK.
May 2024.

‘I attended the partners group with a sense of not knowing what I would say and also, it’s fair to say, feeling somewhat anxious. I can not explain the sense of release I felt following the group meeting after listening to the experiences of everyone.

Listening to the different perspectives and the journeys of people was so helpful and has given me new perspectives. Just having the opportunity to be with other people ‘like me’ and freely talk about my ways of coping with my husbands cross dressing has given me a sense of peace and I feel less lonely in my own journey.

Paul manages the group with kind sensitivity and is able to pick up on important themes and guide the conversations. I urge anyone considering whether they join a group session to give it a go.’

S. Australia.
May 2024.

‘I attended the partners group with a sense of not knowing what I would say and also, it’s fair to say, feeling somewhat anxious. I can not explain the sense of release I felt following the group meeting after listening to the experiences of everyone.

Listening to the different perspectives and the journeys of people was so helpful and has given me new perspectives. Just having the opportunity to be with other people ‘like me’ and freely talk about my ways of coping with my husbands cross dressing has given me a sense of peace and I feel less lonely in my own journey.

Paul manages the group with kind sensitivity and is able to pick up on important themes and guide the conversations. I urge anyone considering whether they join a group session to give it a go.’

S. Australia.
May 2024.

‘I’m not sure how helpful my comments were to other wive’s of men who cross dress, as their discovery journey seems a lot newer than my experience.

I have known about my husbands cross dressing for many years, and the painful feelings I had back then, have dissipated over the years.

It was good to feel that I’m not alone.

I struggled with the technology, I couldn’t use the chat feature, however speaking with the other ladies was easy.

What came across strongly was it is a shared experience, a safe place to express feelings, when for years, we hadn’t voiced them.

I try to be supportive to my husband, so do not always tell him what I don’t like, or what upsets me, for fear of upsetting him as, it’s already tough for him to deal with.

This support group for the wives of men who cross dress is timely.’

G. UK.
May 2024.

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