Men’s Sexual Health: Understanding Libido, ED, and PE.

The term “Libido” may evoke some discomfort amongst many men, and phrases like erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE) are often unwelcome and very difficult subjects to discuss.

Men tend to be less inclined than women to seek medical advice and emotional support. Many men opt to research their health concerns online instead.

Online counseling and life coaching have proven highly effective for men, providing the advantage of anonymity from the comfort of one’s home or workplace. Additionally, you have the option to discuss these kinds of subjects with a male counselor who can empathise with your specific worries.

A man having a libido problem.

In this section, my aim is to provide valuable information to men. Please note that this information is not intended for diagnosing medical conditions, only a qualified doctor or physician can make such determinations concerning medical health.

Recognising that seeking medical attention can be challenging and uncomfortable for many men, I want to emphasise that often, simply talking to a trusted, professional male can significantly improve one’s well-being.

I hope you find the following information informative, and if you believe that discussing your concerns would be beneficial, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

My online counseling service guarantees complete 100% confidentiality, eliminating the possibility of embarrassment or added stress. Early diagnosis and treatment for certain conditions can help prevent unnecessary stress and safeguard your mental and physical health.

You can initiate a conversation with me, a qualified and experienced male face-to-face and online therapist and counselor, anonymously and from the convenience of your own home, workplace or even your car right away.

The penis serves various essential functions, including urination, procreation, self-pleasure, and overall enjoyment. Having one is a fortunate gift, so it’s crucial to prioritize its well-being and safety.

The production of sperm, also known as semen, spunk, or cum, takes place within the testicles and proceeds through the epididymis, where mature sperm reside. The epididymis is a marvel of engineering, a microscopic tube that stretches a remarkable 6 meters, neatly folded within a space of just 5 centimeters.

Just prior to ejaculation, sperm traverse two slender muscular tubes known as the vas deferens. These tubes converge with the seminal vesicles, situated behind the bladder and just above the prostate gland.

Both the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland contribute their unique secretions to semen. These fluids are alkaline, which serves to shield the sperm from the acidic environment of the vagina. During orgasm or ejaculation, semen is propelled through two ejaculatory ducts, coursing along the urethra, which runs the length of the penis, and ultimately exits through the urethral opening.

Understanding the Penis: What It’s Made of

The penis, sometimes called by various names like “cock,” “tool,” or even humorously as the “old man,” is basically made up of three spongy tubes filled with blood vessels. Think of it like a sponge that can fill with blood. Inside, there’s a tube called the urethra that allows both pee and sperm to come out, though not at the same time. The smallest tube, known as the corpus spongiosum, runs underneath the penis and holds the urethra. At the tip, the corpus spongiosum expands to create the head of the penis, called the glans. Sometimes, this glans is covered by a piece of skin called the foreskin.

Why Does the Erect Penis Bend?

It’s quite common for an erect penis to have a bit of a bend, especially if it curves upward. This slight curve can actually be more enjoyable for your partner.

However, if your penis curves a lot to the left or right and it causes problems during sex, like making it tough or painful to enter your partner, it might be something called Peyronie’s disease. For most people, a little bend doesn’t cause issues with sex. It’s all about finding what works best. But if the bend is really severe, surgery might help.

Can You Break Your Penis?

Although it’s not something that happens often, the penis can “fracture” if it slams into something really hard while it’s erect. One common cause is hitting the woman’s pelvic bone during sex. If this happens, it can be fixed with surgery and splints. However, it’s essential to remember that this kind of injury is not very common.

Impotence is when a man can’t get his penis hard enough for sex. Doctors call it “erectile dysfunction,” and it affects around 30 million men in the United States. It’s different from premature ejaculation, which means climaxing too quickly after starting sex.

The main reason for erectile dysfunction is a problem with blood vessels. You see, when a man gets excited, blood flows into his penis, making it hard. But if there’s an issue with the blood vessels, like they’re clogged or damaged, it can be hard for the penis to stay hard.

Other things like nerve damage, which can happen with conditions like diabetes or after certain surgeries, can also make it tough to get an erection. Plus, sometimes, feeling down, stressed, or anxious can affect your ability to perform in bed.

In the past, people thought psychological issues were the main cause of impotence, but now we know it’s usually because of physical stuff. However, feeling embarrassed or worried about your performance can make things worse. This type of impotence due only to psychological factors is more common in younger men.

Certain medicines, like those for high blood pressure or depression, can mess with your ability to have sex. Hormone problems, although less common, can also play a role.

So, if you’re struggling with getting or keeping an erection, it can interfere with your sex life. It might happen suddenly or gradually. Some men notice their erections aren’t as firm as they used to be, or they don’t last as long. But even with this problem, you can still have a satisfying climax without a full erection.

The good news is that there are treatments available. If your impotence is mostly due to psychological reasons, talking to a therapist or counselor can help. You can even do it online, which can make it less embarrassing. These sessions are private and secure. If you’re interested in talking to a professional counselor, you can book a session without even giving your real name.

This is when a man ejaculates (comes) within two minutes of penetration. It is more common amongst younger men up to the age of 35. It tends to happen because a man is very aroused.

You can see your GP or a psychosexual therapist or talk to a counsellor for confidential help.

What causes it?

Either just being very excited with a new partner, or an acute sensitivity of the local nervous system, which triggers orgasm too quickly.

What should you do if you have premature ejaculation or come too quickly?

See your GP, or a psychosexual therapist or a Counsellor. A counsellor will be able to teach you some techniques to delay ejaculation.

What treatment is there?

A lot of men and their partners don’t worry and work around it, But if you’re very unsatisfied, there are some things you can try.

Have sex again soon after the man ejaculates, and the second time it will take longer to reach an orgasm. Older men might find this difficult as it may take too long to get a second erection.

Creams available from sex shops can be put on the penis to numb sensation. This tends to transfer the numbing sensation to the partner, which doesn’t go down very well. Some find using a condom useful.

The man’s partner can squeeze his penis in a certain way to prevent him ejaculating. A man needs an extremely willing partner to do this, and some partners don’t feel comfortable with it.

Counselling can be very successful in terms of relaxing or exploring problems in the relationship, or with exploring a man’s sexual needs and urges.

If you would like to share your worries with me, an online male counsellor in complete confidence, please feel free to contact me.

The prostate is a small gland in a man’s reproductive system, kind of like a walnut in shape and about 1.2 inches across. One of its jobs is to make a part of semen, which is the liquid that comes out when a man ejaculates. This part is called prostate fluid, and it helps keep sperm healthy for fertilisation.

The urethra, the tube that carries urine from the bladder and semen from the prostate, runs through the prostate. So, if something goes wrong with the prostate, it can cause problems with peeing and sometimes discomfort.

Now, let’s talk about prostate cancer. It happens when cells in the prostate start growing uncontrollably, forming small tumors. Unlike healthy cells that grow, mature, and die when they should, cancer cells don’t follow the rules. Instead, they keep multiplying, leading to tumors. The “primary tumor” is the original one, and “secondary tumors” occur when cancer spreads to other parts of the body.

Usually, prostate cancer consists of many tiny primary tumors within the prostate. When detected early, it’s often treatable with procedures like surgery or radiation, and cure rates are high (around 90% or better). But the tricky part is, it often doesn’t show symptoms at this stage, making it hard to spot.

If left untreated and allowed to grow, these cancer cells can spread to other parts of the body—a process known as metastasis. They hitch a ride through the lymphatic system and blood to form new tumors elsewhere. Once cancer goes beyond the prostate, curing it becomes much tougher.

Prostate cancer typically grows slowly, which means it takes years to become detectable and even longer to spread. That’s good news, but some unlucky people have faster-growing, aggressive types that are harder to predict.

How common is prostate cancer? It’s the most common non-skin cancer in the U.S., affecting 1 in 6 men. A non-smoking man is more likely to get prostate cancer than colon, bladder, melanoma, lymphoma, and kidney cancers combined. In fact, a man’s chances of getting it are 35% higher than a woman’s risk of getting breast cancer.

In 2008, over 186,000 men were diagnosed with prostate cancer, and more than 28,000 died from it. That means a new case was reported every 2.5 minutes, and a man died from it every 19 minutes. Right now, there are over 2 million American men living with prostate cancer.

Is prostate cancer curable? Like all cancers, the chances of being “cured” depend on when it’s detected. The earlier, the better. If caught in the local or regional stages, nearly 100% of men are disease-free after five years. Back in the 1970s, only 67% survived at that stage.

Getting checked for prostate cancer isn’t as scary as it sounds. A doctor will do a quick exam, usually by inserting a lubricated finger into the rectum to feel the prostate. It takes less than a minute and could save your life.

If you’re concerned and want to talk to a male counselor online in complete confidence, you don’t even need to share your real name. Your privacy is respected, and there are no records of your conversations. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have worries about prostate cancer or any other health concerns. Talk to me today.

Controlling the urge to watch too much pornography can be challenging, but it’s possible with commitment and the right strategies. Here are some steps you can take to help you control this behavior:

Self-awareness: The first step is to acknowledge that you want to make a change. Understand the negative consequences of excessive porn consumption on your physical and mental health, relationships, and daily life.

Set clear goals: Define what your desired level of porn consumption is and create specific, achievable goals. For example, you might aim to watch porn less frequently or for shorter durations.

Identify triggers: recognise the situations, emotions, or thoughts that lead you to watch porn excessively. Common triggers include stress, boredom, loneliness, or a lack of other enjoyable activities.

Find alternatives: Replace porn with healthier activities that can satisfy your needs or distract you from the urge. Engage in hobbies, exercise, meditation, or spend quality time with friends and family.

Block or limit access: Use website blockers or parental control software to restrict access to pornographic websites. Make it more challenging to give in to temptation.

Create a schedule: Allocate specific times for activities that don’t involve porn, like reading, learning, or pursuing personal interests. Stick to this schedule to help break the habit.

Seek support: Share your goal with someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or therapist. They can provide encouragement and hold you accountable.

Mindfulness and meditation: These practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and urges. Mindfulness can assist you in recognising triggers and redirecting your focus.

Counseling or therapy: Consider speaking with a mental health professional who specialises in addiction or compulsive behavior. They can help you explore underlying issues and provide guidance and support.

Join support groups: Online or in-person support groups can connect you with people who are facing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and strategies with others can be highly beneficial.

Rewards and incentives: Reward yourself for achieving your goals. Small rewards can motivate you to stay on track and reinforce positive behaviors.

Practice self-compassion: Be patient and forgiving with yourself. It’s normal to face setbacks when trying to change a habit. Don’t get discouraged; instead, learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.

Educate yourself: Understand the potential negative effects of excessive porn consumption on your brain and relationships. The more you know, the more motivated you may be to reduce it.

Remember that breaking any habit, especially one that involves a compulsive behavior like pornography consumption, takes time and effort. Be persistent and don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up occasionally. Seek professional help if you find it extremely challenging to control your pornography consumption, as it could be a sign of a more significant issue.

Men’s sexual health counseling primarily focuses on addressing issues related to men’s reproductive organs and sexual well-being. It encompasses concerns such as:

Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Counseling can help men understand the psychological and physical factors contributing to ED and provide strategies to manage and improve their sexual function.

Premature Ejaculation (PE): Men’s sexual health counselors offer guidance on techniques and approaches to delay ejaculation, reduce anxiety, and enhance sexual performance.

Prostate Cancer: Counseling can provide support for individuals and couples dealing with the emotional and practical challenges of a prostate cancer diagnosis, as well as its impact on sexual health and intimacy.

These counselors create a safe and confidential environment for individuals to discuss these specific reproductive organ-related issues, provide education, offer coping strategies, and, in some cases, work with couples to address relationship dynamics affected by these concerns.

Yes, your counseling session is private and confidential. Confidentiality is a fundamental principle in counseling. This means that the information you share during your sessions is kept strictly between you and your counselor. They are bound by professional ethics and legal standards to safeguard your privacy. Your personal and sensitive matters will not be disclosed to anyone without your explicit consent, ensuring a safe and secure environment for you to discuss your concerns openly and honestly.

I’m Paul Parkin – A therapist and life coach. This is why you should work with me:

Paul Parkin Online CounsellorI have worked in the field of men’s health and other male orientated health issues consulting for several years both face to face and online life coaching.

I have helped Thousands of men who struggle with talking about private and sometimes, embarrassing issues.

Talking to a life coach online or even face-to-face offers men a safe, anonymous way to get professional and experienced help from another male without leaving the comfort of your home or work.

What some of my recent clients have said about our work together.

‘Paul helped me with erectile dysfunction and through our work together, we realised that my addiction to porn had severely affected my ability to be turned on under natural circumstances, which was a massive contributor to my erectile dysfunction.

When I did become aroused, I was unable to sustain arousal because of my unrealistic and heightened levels of dependence upon porn.

We treated it by slowly reducing the amount and frequency of porn use, over time, my erection problem was improved and I returned my brain to more normal levels of arousal, which resulted in me being able to have a more intimate connection with my wife.’

Mike. UK.
March 2023.

‘Paul helped me with my porn addiction, he worked with me regularly by slowly reducing the frequency and type of porn I was watching.

He also explained to me more about intimacy from a woman’s perspective, this resulted in me being able to better connect with my wife.

I realised through my work with Paul that I was using porn to compensate for an unsatisfactory relationship, which in turn made it even worse.

Paul helped with the porn addiction and his education. Around intimacy from my wife’s perspective has had a massive positive impact on our relationship.

My porn addiction is now fixed, and the relationship is in a much better place.‘

Fred. USA.
September 2022.

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