Why do men cross-dress?
This is cross-dressing information and support for the partner, husband, wife, friend or a family of a man who cross dresses.
For men who cross-dress, you can get more information here.
If you’ve just discovered that a man you care about is wearing clothes usually worn by the opposite gender, you may be feeling surprised or shocked and have many questions.
It’s normal for many people to feel worried and concerned when they find out a loved one is cross-dressing, and that’s completely okay.
This page was created from my experience of helping men who wear clothes, traditionally worn by and designed for women, along with their partners, friends, and families for many years.
I’m here to listen and help you with any questions you have. We can talk about any worries, concerns, or biases you may have about cross-dressing. Together, we can figure out what it means and how it might affect your relationship.
Cross-dressing can be confusing for many because there are many incorrect ideas and misunderstandings about it. This makes it difficult for people to understand its true meaning and causes.
Many men who cross-dress don’t know why they have this behaviour or desire.
This lack of understanding can be very distressing for everyone involved.
My role is to help men accept and understand their cross-dressing. I want to help them make sense of their feelings and give trustworthy information based on research to them, their partners, families, and friends. By doing this, we can learn why cross-dressing occurs, why it continues, and find positive ways to manage it.
I have worked with over 5,000 men who cross-dress, and I’ve also supported more than 2,000 of their partners, friends, and family members.
In most cases, there is a way through this and in most cases cross-dressing support, helps to improve those relationships.
If you’re a wife, partner or girlfriend of a man that cross dresses and would like support for yourself, or advice on how you can support your loved one, please contact me for either one-to-one support, or inclusion in the anonymous support group for wives, girlfriends or partners of men who cross dress here.
Here are some common questions people often have when they discover their loved one is cross-dressing:
I’m Paul Parkin – A therapist and life coach, and this is why you should work with me:
I was the first therapist to conduct research with cross-dressers and to support them and their partners and families with a completely confidential service.
I am fully qualified in the UK and
I have 15 years’ experience of working with cross-dressers and their loved ones.
I use a range of counselling and life coaching tools for an effective, solution focused approach.
Online therapy offers great convenience, get support from the comfort of your own home, or even your car.
What some of my recent clients have said about our work together.
‘Having only recently discovered my husband is a cross dresser after 16 years of marriage was quite a shock and I felt isolated and didn’t know what to think about where our relationship was heading.
I reached out to Paul and found a knowledgeable, empathetic person who could provide me with answers to my questions and help me find perspective and a sense of peace as we navigate this new phase in our relationship.
After just one session I feel more at peace and less fearful than I have the past few weeks.
Having found Paul I know that we have someone who understands our situation and has the experience to provide the extra support we need right now.’
S., Australia
‘After recently finding out my partner has been cross-dressing since he can remember, I have felt very confused and a lot of upset.
Naturally, I began to Google and panic that my partner would not be attracted to me and that it may mean he’s confused about his gender.
I have only had an introductory session with Paul, but if you are considering it and need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to get an initial chat booked in. After only 30 minutes I already feel a lot more understanding on a topic I knew nothing about. I want to fully support and understand my partner, and I hope he also would like to speak to Paul to understand more about himself and the way he is feeling. I don’t want him to feel alienated anymore.
Paul is kind, understanding and puts you at complete ease. From reading other reviews about couples seeking support from Paul after years of marriage it can be very daunting for a younger couple (we are both 24) but I feel that I will be better equipped and knowledgeable to support someone I love moving forward. Thank you, Paul – I look forward to our next Session.’
Susan, UK
‘I contacted Paul after much thought and the sense of relief I felt was enormous.
I’d discovered 5 years ago that my husband was a cross-dresser. Our relationship has suffered through this and other life issues, subsequently separating.
Recently though we’ve got back together and with Paul’s help have looked into the cross-dressing and the reasons behind it and our relationship as a whole. We are now in the process of rebuilding.
Paul has been so so important in all of this, helping both of us with his insight, compassion and a great person to offload to.
For me as a wife of a cross-dresser Paul has removed the taboo that surrounds this, so important when you are trying to see a way through a situation that I thought at first was totally hopeless.
I’d say to anyone who finds them self in the same situation, that there is help out there and you are not on your own. Paul has a wealth of knowledge on this subject and this is why I approached him.
Good luck!’
S., UK
‘I spoke with Paul on several occasions and he was able to give me great insight into my cross-dressing boyfriend. It helped me to understand and accept him in a really useful way that we have resolved the difficulties we were having. The online element to me was fab as, I had privacy and Paul being remote actually made the difficult topics easy to talk about. Thank you for your wonderful help 😊’
Audrey, UK