Rut – To be stuck, and repeating the same behaviors, not moving forward.
The saying ‘stuck in a rut’ actually refers to a car stuck in its own tracks, we have all done it, tried to floor the pedal and get out of it, only to deepen the rut and become stuck. It usually takes a lot of effort to get out of and the rut’s we encounter in life are no different.
The good news is that as with ruts in our cars, ruts in life don’t usually last forever, though they can go on for a long time if we don’t do something about it. Being stuck in a rut can be exhausting, it can take away our energy and zest for life, it can make us feel flat and down and often lead us into depression,
The reasons we can find ourselves in a rut are many and can be complex, but here are some of the more common reasons:
- Financial struggles
- Relationship problems
- Boredom
- Not living the life you want
- Past or current abuse
- Addictions
- A history of Anxiety
- A history of Depression
- Feeling alone
It may be that one of the above issues is making you feel down or stuck in a place you don’t want to be, it may be that you feel powerless to change anything, here is where the problem really is. People who feel that they are in a rut of describe not being able to change anything, so here I want to help you see that even very small change can be a catalyst for getting you out of your rut.
In my 12 years of working as a counsellor, the past 7 years I have been providing online counselling to people all around the world, I have noticed that with most people the one thing they all have in common is that they feel they don’t have any options or choices, thus they feel stuck in their rut.
Being in an exotic location, having plenty money, being in a relationship or living what to others seems a good life is no guarantee of feeling fulfilled, sometimes its a combination of a series of small issues all culminating in a sense that our life just isn’t how we want it to be, and if we feel we have no options or choices, that’s when the feeling in a rut starts.
Sometimes it is very difficult to talk to people close to us, our friends, families or partners, it can be difficult to say to these people that life feels a bit flat, to them it might feel like you are not happy with them and maybe you’re not, but it isn’t easy to tell them right.
What usually helps a lot is to sit down with someone who isn’t too close to you emotionally and talk through all your thoughts and feelings, this way you don’t offend anyone. Explore what you have in your life and what is missing, it can be difficult sometimes to know what is missing, but talking will help tease out the underlying problems.
Here are some of the words people use when they feel stuck in a rut:
- Flat
- Down
- Depressed
- Anxious
- Unhappy
- Unfulfilled
If you feel like this, it probably help you a lot just to chat about it, look at what you can change or what you can make better.
The single most helpful thing that helps my online counselling clients is to help them explore options and choices, they are there, but in the depths of despair, you just don’t see them, I help people by helping them discover that life always has another road that can be taken, even with all the baggage we need to take along with us.
Hello
I m suffering frm sme kind of rare problem, I dnt knw what is wrong wth me as I cnt see people who are close to me going in a wrong way n I really want to protect them frm all the evils near to them.My bestfriend left me just because of her boyfriend who is a very mean greedy cunning n selfish person who is jst using her financially n emotionally too she knows all abt him for last 1yr n sme days before I tried to realise that bloody crap to chane himself n in reply he abused me n said so many things abt my character n dat time I hurted a lot n I m nt able to forgot those words n my friend is also by talking to me as she was my friend for last 6yrs n I was hurted a lot bcz she gave importance to that 1yr relationship in which she only gets tears n wth me she used to b happy…..plz suggest me so that I could able to forget everything related to that conversation.
It sounds like you are having a difficult time, my thought is that you should love yourself more right now, be around people who don’t hurt you and if someone spoils your peace, take a break from them.
I hope that helps, sometimes changing how we think gives the best chance to make things better.
Hugs and peace
Hello Pallavi, Please contact me directly and I will offer some advice.
Thank you – Paul Parkin