What is self-esteem?

We all use the expression 'self-esteem', but what do we mean by it?

Some people think that self-esteem means confidence - and of course confidence comes into it - but it's rather more than that.

The fact is that there are any number of apparently confident people who can do marvellous things but who have poor self-esteem. Many people in the public eye fall into this category. Actors and comedians and singers in particular can seem to glow with assurance 'on stage', and yet off-stage many of them feel desperately insecure.

Indeed, individuals can be stunningly attractive and world-famous, and seem poised and perfect - yet still, deep down, find it hard to value themselves. Think of the late Princess of Wales and Marilyn Monroe and you'll accept, I think, that public adulation is no guarantee of self-belief.

So, if self-esteem isn't quite the same thing as confidence, what is it?

Well, the word 'esteem' comes from a Latin word which means 'to estimate'. So, self-esteem is how you estimate yourself.

To do that you need to ask yourself certain questions:

•    Do I like myself?
•    Do I think I'm a good human being?
•    Am I someone deserving of love?
•    Do I deserve happiness?
•    Do I really feel - both in my mind and deep in my guts - that I'm an OK person?

People with low self-esteem find it hard to answer 'yes' to these questions. Perhaps you are one of them. If so, what can you do?

How can you improve your self-esteem?

Firstly, you can begin by accepting that you are certainly not alone. Around 65% of the UK population (It is even higher in the United States) have this problem, and turn to a qualified counsellor, Therapist or Life Coach for support and to explore ways of building self esteem, and yes it can be done quite effectively in relatively short time scales in most cases.

Secondly, you can take on board a very important fact, which is that you are a wonderful, individual and special person - and there is no one quite like you. Your fingerprints and your DNA are totally different from everybody else's - unless you happen to have an identical twin. And your mind - and how it thinks and operates - is absolutely your own. This means that out of six billion people in the world, you are a one-off.  So if nature has bothered to make you utterly unique, don't you feel that you should accept that you're important, and that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet?

An Experienced, Qualified Counsellor will help you explore the reasons for low or poor Self Esteem.  Many people who suffer from Low Self Esteem may have felt like that from Childhood and Counselling is very effective at repairing and improving Self Esteem

By helping you to explore and confront the underlying reasons, and then using our knowledge and experience to raise and improve how you feel about yourself, you will feel a lot better, usually people say that they feel better after only a couple of sessions.  By feeling good about yourself, you will become a much happier person.

What is low self-esteem?

Put simply, your self-esteem is how well you think about yourself compared to other people, such as friends and workmates. Low self-esteem means that you think you are a lesser person than others. It can often be traced back to early childhood experiences, such as heavy criticism, being abandoned, feeling unloved, feeling unattractive, too fat or too thin. Being ridiculed or abused. It can also be a symptom of depression.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

The signs can vary, they may include:

•    Feeling that you're not good enough - even if you are;
•    Decreased confidence;
•    Putting yourself down all the time;
•    Being too scared to try new things;
•    Unsure of your good qualities;
•    Making no effort because you expect to mess things up;
•    Being timid, not asserting yourself;
•    Losing your temper;
•    Picking fights;
•    Worrying about getting even;
•    Blaming others for your problems;
•    Constantly bickering about petty issues.

Raising your self-esteem

Counselling and short-term cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) are very helpful for most people. It allows a person to clear out the cobwebs and release their inhibitions step by step. Raising self-esteem enables you to feel better about your self and recognise your good qualities. Your relationships improve, and you become a happier person.

Talking with an online counselor is so accessable, just request a session now and start the healing process, you will never look back.

Click below to book a session and in just a few hours you could be well on your way to a higher Self Esteem.

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